A newfie was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds. "
When the newfie returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 lbs!
"Why, that's amazing", the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The newfie nodded. "I'll tell you though, be jaesuz, I taut I were going to drop dead on dat 'tird day.."
"From the hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from the f@#kn' skippin'. "
