I found this on the interwebs and modified it a bit.
Death of Mickey Mouse
The Walt Disney Studios regrets to announce that Mickey Mouse, the oldest, and probably foremost (with due regards to Mr. Donald Duck, who is also equally well-respected) passed away, apparently last night, and was discovered by his wife, the well known Minnie Mouse. It is surmised that he died of poisoning. The death seems to have been instigated by BDF, with Kirby as his accomplice.
Mickey (or as he was known to his many Spanish friends) Miguelito Ratonchita, came from humble beginnings as a petty thief, taking bread crumbs from the art easel of Walt Disney. It was Mickey’s pluck (do people have pluck nowadays?) that inspired Walt (everyone called him Walt) to transition from drawing nose art for air corps bombers to drawing Mickey. He made fun of Mickey by drawing these outrageous ears, but Mickey, being a professional actor didn’t mind and coined the phrase, “there are no small parts, only small actors.” Or something like that. Mickey was not very bright.
“One of the best things that ever happened to me,” was what Mickey said when Walt penned Minnie and they went on (Mickey and Minnie, not Mickey and Walt) to a happily married (because this was the thirties and you had better be married or, well, never mind) life. It is said that Mickey and Minnie had three-hundred and fifty-six children, but since none of them made it in show business, we don’t care.
Services will be held in the Little Chapel of the Mice, which is reached by taking the second mouse hole in the floor of the first gift shop in Disneyland. You must be two inches tall or less to enter.
Burial will be at the Forest Lawn of the Field Mice at the Mouse Kingdom. Pallbearers include Popeye, Yosemite Sam, Sylvester, Bluto and Pluto, and Fritz the cat, who will remain behind, after the others have left, to guard the casket.
