See picture above. Feels and looks exactly like that!

Caused by chaffing from friction from unmentionables/butt/seat/DuhBoyz rubbing together. Usually with sweat added to the discomfort stew.

+1 for Held gloves... may cost more, but last... most comfortable gloves that ever gloved my hands.  Phantom's for day to day riding... Rainstorm for, well, rain.  My Phantom's are over 5 years old now... got my monies worth.

Plexus works pretty good for me as an anti-fog... Pledge may work, who knows.

Under Armour wicking shorts for skivvies... ahhhhhhh!  Russell Daylong is the shizzz!

I use foam ear plugs, so noise isn't an issue for me.  I ride with a Scorpion EXO-900 modular. 

Nelson Riggs rain 2pc suit.  I have liners in my overpants.  My Oly AST jacket has been waterproofed (washed in Nikwax every Fall season before Winter)... use the rain jacket over my Motoport Kevlar Mesh II jacket.

Not that I have any experience at all with this but I hear you can use anti-perspirant as well to delay the sweating.  Just don't use your wife's anti-perspirant in a pinch on a long trip and then tell her afterwards...  Now why did I come up with that?

#2 Some solid anti-persperant, bicycle shorts or Under Armour, and some beads over the stock (for now) seat.
http://www.beadrider.com/shop/item.asp?itemid=2
Here is what mine looks like.

#1 - nada

#2 - LD Comfort shorts or tights ( http://www.ldcomfort.com/ ). The serious long-distance guys (Iron Butt, etc.) swear by their products. Mario Winkleman owns the company, listens to the riders, and designs his stuff specifically for long-distance motorcycle comfort. Also, as Rick Hall aluded, get the best seat for your tush. Worth every penny.

#3 - Frogg Toggs have worked great for me, including some serious time riding in rain. On my second set. OTOH, my wife had a brand new pair that leaked like a sieve from day one and she went with something else. 

#4 - My Araia Profile is quieter than my older Shoei RF1000. Better fit helps. Earplugs work wonders on cutting the wind noise and reducing fatigue.

#5 - Pinlock shields are the only thing I have ever used that actually worked for anti-fog. Awesome. I wear glasses under my helmet and fogging up is a constant bitch in cold, damp weather. Every kind of snake oil application I ever applied still resulted in fogged up shields.

#6 - no help. I got cheapie ventilated gloves that work ok, but they are not going to last long.

#7 - Love the Pirelli Angels. May be tempted byt the PR3's if they deliver equal or better mileage based on reports of comparable dry weather performance and outstanding wet weather traction. Which I could use today... 

+1 on the LD comfort!!  Its a good product.  And yes, I know both Mario and Ben

That has been seen, cannot be unseen!

Yikes!