Merciful heavens, not more "getting old" jokes!!!!

[tonedeaf]

The Importance of walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $4,000 per month

 
 

[tonedeaf]

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we have no idea where the hell he is.

[tonedeaf]

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

[tonedeaf]

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 250 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there!
 
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

[tonedeaf]

I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'

[tonedeaf]

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a pub with a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.