Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.
When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"
Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too, but since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."
Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball..."
The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."
"And, gentlemen, remember you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both."
The room became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.
"Yes?" said the instructor.
"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
Brings a tear to your eye doesn't it? This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught.
Bill comes to work speaking in a hoarse voice. Ralph asks him what happened to his voice. He relates that he was playing golf, and sliced his ball out of bounds and into a pasture.
However, he thought he could find his ball and went to look for it. He saw a woman looking for her ball, too. As he passed a cow, he noticed that there was a golf ball stuck in the back end of the cow.
He lifted up the cow's tail and called out, "Hey lady, does this look like yours?"
That's when she hit him in the throat with a 3 iron.