the others......spouse

[tidewatergirl]

What is some of the best ways to make "the other" stop just plain bitchin and being mean for "kicks."  Be Creative folks ....Iam serious....well humor doesnt' hurt either.

[gPink]

Baseball bat up side the head. Being mean just for kicks is abusive and bullying.
If it's your "other" good luck and be careful.

[BrianM]

You don't get to change how others act.  Sorry, just not going to happen, well..  short of killing them. 

You can only change how You react....  like, by not being there to have to put up with anything or by doing "something" that will only escalate matters


That's in theory, I've never spent time with anyone who treated me badly because, well..  who would Want to?

[Bob Skinner]

The real question is why is the "other" being mean? Domineering boss at work, feels insecure for some reason, just makes the "other" feel superior, just wants to make you feel bad, I'm the boss and you have to take it attitude.
You can't figure out what to do without first finding the cause. Once the cause is known then you can take the appropriate action.

[lt1]

Try kindness.

[Boomer343]

One of my personal definitions of loving someone is ...Knowing how to hurt them and choosing not to.

But I also try to live by a Betty White quote, paraphrased, Nobody really knows what goes on between two people in a relationship, not friends, children, family...only the two people themselves.

As always your experience may vary.....

[Strawboss]

I guess I'm very lucky, we just don't have some of the things talked about here. We're not angels, we have arguments, but we respect each other and are  lucky to be on the same page for just about everything in life that usually trips up other couples. And after what we've been through and currently going through with her family, and our jobs, it just brings us closer and makes us cherish the time we have.

[ZG]

Take her to Maui for some quality one on one time... 
 
This is worth a year of free pass for farkle $ spending... 
 

[oldkid]

Short of leaving it's like Brian said.

You can only change how You react....  like, by not being there to have to put up with anything or by doing "something" that will only escalate matters

Two old sayings I'm sure you have heard.

"If you can't change your situation...........change your mind."

Old Chinese saying practiced in Ti Chi " If you can't fight or flee, you flow."

When this fails there is always the baseball bat.

[Timalan]

I guess I'm very lucky, we just don't have some of the things talked about here. We're not angels, we have arguments, but we respect each other and are  lucky to be on the same page for just about everything in life that usually trips up other couples. And after what we've been through and currently going through with her family, and our jobs, it just brings us closer and makes us cherish the time we have.

+1 Strawboss
we too have been through a lot and have always ended up on the same page somehow. LUCK! I have zero reason to be mean. Mean just sucks

[VirginiaJim]

Take her to Maui for some quality one on one time... 
 
This is worth a year of free pass for farkle $ spending... 
 

You know, you could post that photo here:

http://www.zggtr.org/index.php?topic=3738.0

[ZG]

You know, you could post that photo here:

http://www.zggtr.org/index.php?topic=3738.0

Thanks for the suggestion Jim, I just posted it there, thanks! I thought that thread was only for pics of us including our Connie, which unfortunately I have none yet, guess I need to get some real life friends with a camera to actually see in person other than you forum guys to hang out with...
 

[tidewatergirl]

I agree with all the above but the bottom line is "is just is"......and I wanted to see if anyone had a better take on it then me. Botttom line is OldKid is right.....FLOW.......hope this touch some "others".

[Son of Pappy]

After 29+ years I'm still trying to figure that out.  What helps is having a shared dream and goal for retirement.  We often have differing ideas on how to get there, but the destination is the same.

[Conrad]

After 29+ years I'm still trying to figure that out.  What helps is having a shared dream and goal for retirement.  We often have differing ideas on how to get there, but the destination is the same.

34+ years here and it's still a work in progress.

[gPink]

I agree with all the above but the bottom line is "is just is"......and I wanted to see if anyone had a better take on it then me. Botttom line is OldKid is right.....FLOW.......hope this touch some "others".

TWG, Life is too short to live in an untenable situation. I guess "FLOW" is ok if you're flowing in the right direction. Do not accept something you know in your heart to be wrong. If the situation can't be changed then your location should be. 'To thine ownself be true'.

[tidewatergirl]

@ gpink.......... I believe you are right but it's all in the timing as well.  I believe I am now flowing in the right direction.

[gPink]

Be safe girl.