Ok, so I had a few extra minutes on my hands to come up with my take on these classic aviation stories...


Pilots vs Maintenance Engineers done the Motorcycle Way

After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Here's how the Motorcycle owner might record his or her observations before their next dealer visit and the Dealer's responses.

M: Front tire almost needs replacement.
D: Almost replaced front tire.

M: Test ride OK, except Anti-Lock Brakes on C-10 very rough.
D: Anti-Lock Brakes not installed on this C-10.

M: Something loose under plastics.
D: Something tightened under plastics.

M: Dead bugs on windshield.
D: Live bugs on back-order.

M: After-market cruise control produces a 100 feet per minute deacceleration.
D: Cannot reproduce problem while stopped.

M: Evidence of leak on rear shock strut.
D: Evidence removed.

M: #2 carburetor seeping fluid
D: #2 carburetor seepage normal – #1 #3 and #4 carburetor lack normal seepage

M: Muffler volume unbelievably loud.
D: Muffler volume set to more believable level.

M: Friction lock cause throttle control to stick.
D: That’s what they’re for

M: Cycle inoperative.
D: Cycle always inoperative in OFF mode.

M: Suspected crack in windshield.
D: Suspect you’re right.

M: Number 3 carburetor missing.
D: Carburetor found under gas tank after brief search.

M: Cycle handles funny.
D: Cycle warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

M: Driveshaft hums.
D: Refilled driveshaft with lyrics

M: Erratic handling, crosses double yellows for no reason, lame attitude in cockpit.
D: PEBHAS (Problem Exists Between Handlebars and Seat).

And the best one for last.

M: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
D: Took hammer away from midget.


Enjoy!
MWH