Kawasaki Concours Forum
Mish mash => Open Forum => Topic started by: Deziner on January 29, 2015, 06:15:14 PM
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The Greatest Lies you have ever heard. I'll start....
"Read my lips. No new taxes!"
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I'm from the Government and I'm here to help you.
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The check is in the mail.
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Original, one owner miles.
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"I love you."
"No, I'm not seeing anyone else." (She was pregnant with another guy's child.)
"The company is not, repeat NOT, reducing the workforce. We need all the employees we have." (I was laid off one week later, along with three others. They laid off over 60 in the following three months.)
"Everyone who works four/tens can keep their schedule, we are not going to make them switch to five eight-hour days." (Two weeks later the four/ten schedule was eliminated, and everyone went to five/eights.)
Santa Claus
Easter Bunny
Tooth Fairy
"For sale: Three-year old Harley, never down, never ridden in the rain, no time to ride."
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"the days of $2 gas are over"
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If you like your plan/doctor, you can keep it.
The bill will cost X dollars and will save money.
This is the first I've heard of it.
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I've never done this before
He's just a friend
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I won't ---- in your mailbox,
the checks in your mouth
oh wait, bit dyslexic :o....
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Dentist: "This won't hurt a bit."
Doctor: "It's nothing to worry about, but I'd like a second opinon."
Car Salesman: "It was owned by a little old lady..."
Wife/SO: "Do whatever you want!"
Wife/SO: "Nothing's wrong!"
My Dad: "Hold this spark plug against the block while I crank it over. It'll be fine...."
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The truth: Women fall in love with what they hear, and men fall in love with what they see. That's why men lie, and women wear makeup.
I heard a young girl say that Disney had giver her unrealistic expectations about men. I countered that porn had given me unreastic expectations about women....
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"I did not have sexual relations with that woman"
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"I did not have sexual relations with that woman"
....but we did share a good cigar...
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One of my best clients said he would see me later....he went blind.
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Never been dropped
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Cop: "How many drinks have you had?"
Reply: "2"
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One of my best clients said he would see me later....he went blind.
ouch!
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Cop: "How many drinks have you had?"
Reply: "2"
Cop: Do you know why I stopped you?
Reply: Uh, no.
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“the entire North ‘polarized’ cap will disappear in 5 years.” Al Gore 2008
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I will be there when the cal comes at 3 am.
I've ben a salesman all my life. I have no reason to lie to you.