In Mason, TX there is a large German speaking population. One day a farmer was walking down a country road and saw a man drinking from the farmer's pond with his hand.
The farmer said, "Trink da Wasser nicht. Die Kuehe haben da reingeschissen".
(Translation:"Don't drink the water the cows have s**t in it".
The man said: I'm from New York and I'm down here campaigning for President Obama's health care plan.Could you please speak English, I can't understand you".
The farmer replied, "Use two hands, you'll get more water".