Kawasaki Concours Forum
Mish mash => Funny Pages => Topic started by: Jaxter on June 05, 2011, 08:40:42 PM
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got a funny joke about Harleys, or a funny/interesting story about Harleys or their riders...Let's hear them...I will get it started with my favorite Harley Joke (probably most of you have already heard it)
Did you know that 95% of all Harleys ever built are still on the road...the other 5% actually made it home!
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Why bash the Harleys?
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I guess because I get tired of their superiority attitude and snootiness...I know that not all of them are like that, but enough are to irritate me.
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And your superior attitude in response to theirs is justified? Let's tell racist jokes; at least that way we can be obvious about being hateful and petty.
OMG!! It's humor for crying out loud ....... relax a little. Nobody's getting hurt here and your racism comment is completely unwarranted.
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I guess because I get tired of their superiority attitude and snootiness...I know that not all of them are like that, but enough are to irritate me.
+1,000,000
Most Harley "riders" don't want to ride a motorcycle, they just want to be seen with one. How many bars do you go by with a bunch of anything other than Harleys or wannabe cruisers parked out front?
Get a sense of humor folks. If somebody finds the need to play dress up every weekend to be "cool", they deserve the jokes.
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Harley: the most efficient way of turning gasoline into noise without the horrible byproduct of Hp.
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This thread is sh1t and I am sorry I even looked at it.
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I was born in 1961, which makes me old enough to remember when "Made in the USA" meant something. Japanese products were generally junk. If it was US made it was either built well or at the leading edge of technology. For people to make a big deal out of Harley being made in the USA (which is debatable) should be embarrassing to all of us. Is this the best the US can produce these days? Obsolete technology propped up by a wave of nostalgia. At least the US car companies seem to have learned from their mistakes and are building vehicles we can be proud to say are made in the USA. Why do we have to be careful not to offend Harley and their riders when the best thing they are selling are T-shirts? As an American who drives American cars and tries to spend my money locally, it makes me mad that the best American motorcycle I can buy is a Victory, which is nothing more than obsolete technology that is assembled well. >:(
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This one is my favorite:
Arthur (Harley)Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, Since youve been such a good
man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you
can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, I want to hang
out with God.
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God
God recognized Arthur and commented, Okay, so you were the one who
invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?
Arthur said, Yep, thats me.
God said, Well, whats the big deal in inventing something thats
pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and cant run without a
road?
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, Excuse me,
but arent You the inventor of woman?
God said, Yes.
Well, said Arthur, professional to professional, you have some
major design flaws in your invention:
1. Theres too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!
Hmmmmm, you have some good points there, replied God, hold on.
God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and
waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and
God read it.
Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed, God said to
Arthur, but according to these numbers, more men are riding my
invention than yours.
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Have fun with your hate filled lives.
I have a regular sized mustache and take offense with your implication that large mustaches are somehow better.
Get a sense of humor. And READ my above post. I didn't bash Harley, they are doing it themselves.
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Except most Harley owners are not riders.....................
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A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble in the road. ~Henry Ward Beecher
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A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble in the road. ~Henry Ward Beecher
That's great if you can have the same sense of humor about geriatric old men and their wannabe BMW Connies......That can cut both ways. I see plenty of 08s for sale with 5k miles on them.
:rotflmao:
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That's great if you can have the same sense of humor about geriatric old men and their wannabe BMW Connies......That can cut both ways. I see plenty of 08s for sale with 5k miles on them.
:rotflmao:
:rotflmao: :chugbeer:
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That's great if you can have the same sense of humor about geriatric old men and their wannabe BMW Connies......That can cut both ways. I see plenty of 08s for sale with 5k miles on them.
:rotflmao:
The reality is that I AM a BMW wannabe. I would LOVE to own a BMW. The Connie is in fact a (frugal) copy of a BMW. BMW invented the sport-tourer.
What gets me is when Harley owners smuggly ask "When are you going to get a REAL bike". I usually reply "when Harley builds something that corners, handles and performs as well as my Concours. Of course they make some remark about "crotch rockets" and slink away, since they think anything not made by Harley is a crotch rocket. They also think that deep down inside every motorcyclist is counting the days until they can finally afford to get the Harley they have always been dreaming about.
Ignorance is bliss. ::)
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I just shake my head, and hope I never have the misfortune to ride with you.
I don't ride with Texas trash! (That was a joke).
Here's an example of the condescending attitude that most (maybe not all) Harley riders have:
http://home.ctlnet.com/~mcarroll/101.html (http://home.ctlnet.com/~mcarroll/101.html)
This is why they get "bashed". I don't ever see any other brand giving or receiving the bashing that Harley gets. If they didn't act like they were in some special god chosen club, people probably wouldn't "bash" them. Then again the bikes are obsolete technology. That's funny.
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I hope you guys realize that you are presenting the same bigoted intolerance that you are bashing Harley owners (since I guess most of them aren't riders.... coulda fooled me, all the Harleys I see on the road here in Dallas...) for showing you.
I just shake my head, and hope I never have the misfortune to ride with you.
Other than going to "bike nights" local bar hopping and or the occasional and ever so rare actual motorcycle trip, "typically trailered" they just like to dress up as wannabe outlaws and measure their cocks at any chance they get. If I had a dollar for every Harley I see on a damn trailer heading somewhere, I could probably buy me a Harley. I have some really good friends that own/ride HOGS, and even they tend to bash the typical "much deserved stereotypical" HOG owner. Spend all that money on a bike and don't hardly even ride it......what is the friggin point? If playing dressup, doing poker runs and waving till their arm falls off is fun........then so be it. I will just pass their slow moving loud ass obnoxious chrome noisemaker when they are in my way. And OHIO has more motorcycle endorsements than anywhere in the USA "for its size and riding seasons" so I see plenty of bikes all year long. The only thing that is truly amazing to me....are the number of folks that actually buy into the whole American motorcycle horsecrap that Harley falsely portrays. They are a global company that pulls the wool over folks eyes with their "brilliant" advertising and fake persona. I will gladly ride my Japanese or European bikes with pride, nothing fake about them or their manufacturers in the least bit.
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Perhaps I should just sell the Connie and buy a Honda.
Does that mean you would move on to a Honda forum too?
All it will do is ............. make you distrust your fellow man.
Um..... no it won't. I am a big boy and I can tell when something is humor and when it is truely intended to hurt someone. Most of us have that internal gauge. Some don't .......... but they make medication to help with that.
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I have met most Harley riders. They are usually at the bar around the next corner.
I have convinced a few people to switch over the years. I am actually in the process of convincing one of my co-workers who is presently bikeless to purchase a Z1000. He has had several Harleys and is disillusioned by the lack of performance, handling and value. Which when we say it is somehow "bashing"?
In reality, I could not care less what the next guy rides or thinks. I am entitled to my opinion and sharing a joke or two on a board with like minded friends will not hurt anyone. If you don't like Harley jokes, don't read this post. This IS a Concours website and I doubt the cool Harley dudes would ever visit.
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You guys know that the C-10 was a dated design when it was introduced and remained that way until five years ago, right? Probably not the best idea to say that H-D only produces dated designs........ ???
I mean, I know H-D is a lot older company, but the new models are quite a bit more reliable than that '51 Panhead in your grandpa's garage. That said, I just can't afford a $20K motorcycle. However, I had a Honda Shadow 1100 Ace Tourer that I loved. It was comfortable, reliable, hydraulic valve adjustment, shaft drive. Sure it wasn't 100+ hp and 75 lb-ft tq, but it ran like a top and was a great bike. It just didn't have the range I wanted. I wish I'd have just had an aux tank made for it now. :( I also didn't have to spend the money I spending on the Conc to make it comfortable to drive for more than and hour at a time. I'm contemplating a 200 mile trip and I am wondering how I can make it with the seat/handlebar setup I have. I'll either figure it out or sell the damn thing and buy my old bike back.
Why do people make fun of H-D riders? They kind of bring it on themselves. I won't make fun of them because they ride an H-D, but rather because the specific person won't ride unless it's >90*, less than 75% humidity, a Tuesday, between the hours of 1900 and 2100. Stuff like that. My manager and a co worker both have H-Ds. The first an Heritage Softie and the second a brand new Ultra Classic in Sedona. Would I love to have the Ultra? Hells yeah I would! I've seen the Heritage a total of three times this year and I've never seen the UC in the parking lot. If they want to ride an expensive bike only once or twice a month, no skin off my nose. It wouldn't make any difference if they had $500 Suzukis in their sheds. It doesn't make my ride any less pleasant. But if they wanted to see the beauty of the snow falling around the bike on a ride in late December or want to see the sun rise over the fog on a field of young corn, or feel the rain beat down and make you feel like you are connected with the earth, then I would be more than happy to have them ride next to me. 2 wheels, 3 wheels, whatever, just ride man. There are a lot, I repeat a LOT of H-D riders that ride thousands of miles a year. I've seen the bikes to prove it. I've also seen '97 Hondas and Kaws that have 8,000 miles on them. Do I make fun of the pirates? Yeah, kinda, but its more because I hate fakes. I wouldn't say anything to them though. I would still ride with them. Some people drink, some people snort coke, some people dress up in Union uniforms and shoot the fake Confederates, some people dress up in leather and ride bikes to forget their miserable bikes. Who cares?
Let's ride!
p.s. I would love a '51 Panhead or a '28 Scout, so if anyone wants to donate one, let me know. That or a '76-78 Goldwing. Whatever. :)
Modified to include: I've seen as many stupid squidly idiots riding liter bikes at bars as I have H-D guys. "Nah man, no way would I ever ride a 600. That's way too small dude. Here, hold my flip flops. I have to go put on my ball cap so I can ride. Oh ****, why does the bike go left when I push the bars right???? Why's that guard rail coming at me!??!" :loco: Also, asking a guy on a modified 1200 Sporty "when are you gonna get a real bike" marks you as tool, not a bada$s.
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Well this isn't very funny at all :-[
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This is.http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s13e12-the-f-word (http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s13e12-the-f-word)
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Not sure if it matter or not.....................but I have "nothing" against the Harley machines, I have liked every single one I have ridden. Maybe I could get one to add to my collection, that way most owners can see how it should be done. 8)
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I'm glad this is in the 'Funny Pages", cuz this is a joke.
I ride a rice burner and my Harley friends make fun of me. They ride Harleys and I pass them. It all works.
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I really do find this all quite funny. Just because someone makes fun of something; it doesnt mean that they hate it. Hell I am a Navy squid, I make fun of every branch of the service; its what we do. I can tell you that when thw sh!t hits the fan that we have each others back.
If you think Harley riders dont make fun of us you had better think again. Thats all i have to say, lighten up folks.
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Yeah, I bet other races make fun of white people too. Wanna go down that road?
Lighten up, ride your bikes, love life.
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Old one, but still funny:
What's the difference between a Hoover and a Harley?
You can only get one dirtbag on a Hoover. :D
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Seems to me that if you have a Harley then the joke is obviously right in front of you. :rotflmao: I crack myself up....
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I have removed my posts. I seem to have offended someone so badly they felt the need to follow me around this forum calling me names. Then I fell to their level and called them a name back. That post will be removed too.
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Wow so much anger! I ride with many Harley owners and we all get along and throw harmless jabs at each other, but the bottom line is we are all riding what we like and that's what is important.
That being said, here is an old Harley joke that always makes me chuckle:
Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision.
I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."
I sometimes stay awake to look out for her cab coming home, but she always comes walking up the drive as I hear the sound of a car leaving, around the corner, as if she has gotten out and walked the rest of the way. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi at all?
I once picked up her cell phone, just to see what time it was. This caused her to go completely berserk. She quickly snatched the phone out of my hand and cursed me hysterically, screaming that I should never touch her personal property, then accused me of trying to spy on her.
Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson Lowrider next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the street around the corner when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my motorcycle that I noticed a small amount of motor oil leaking through the gasket between the rear head and rocker arm cover.
So...is this something I can easily repair myself or do you think I should take it back to the dealer?
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I don't ride with Texas trash! (That was a joke).
Here's an example of the condescending attitude that most (maybe not all) Harley riders have:
http://home.ctlnet.com/~mcarroll/101.html (http://home.ctlnet.com/~mcarroll/101.html)
This is why they get "bashed". I don't ever see any other brand giving or receiving the bashing that Harley gets. If they didn't act like they were in some special God-chosen club, people probably wouldn't "bash" them. Then again the bikes are obsolete technology. That's funny.
Did you read all 101 comments? That was both hilarious and touching. Sounds a lot like the reasons many of us ride, with some specific to the brand. A lot of self-deprecating humor (#85 - You can do your part to keep the highways properly lubricated.) in there as well. Not every item fits every person, but if that is generally what Harley riders are like, they are okay with me.
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Fred was out riding his Sporster, but the weather was getting chilly, and the zipper broke on his leather jacket, so he put the jacket on backwards. A bit later, he dodged a squirrel running across the road, lost control and crashed into a tree. A passing driver stopped to help, and a few minutes later had this report for the police:
"When I got here, I saw the wrecked Harley and this dazed guy stumbling around. But, by the time I got his head twisted around straight, he was dead."
You can all groan now.
Edited - thanks, snarf.
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Fred was out riding his Sporster, but the weather was getting chilly, and the zipper broke on his leather jacket. A bit later, he dodged a squirrel running across the road, lost control and crashed into a tree. A passing driver stopped to help, and a few minutes later had this report for the police:
"When I got here, I saw the wrecked Harley and this dazed guy stumbling around. But, by the time I got his head twisted around straight, he was dead."
You can all groan now.
LOL you forgot to mention that since his zipper was broken he put his jacket on backwards LOL
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Did you read all 101 comments? That was both hilarious and touching. Sounds a lot like the reasons many of us ride, with some specific to the brand. A lot of self-deprecating humor (#85 - You can do your part to keep the highways properly lubricated.) in there as well. Not every item fits every person, but if that is generally what Harley riders are like, they are okay with me.
Agreed. And I liked also this one: #95 If things got bad, you could melt it down and have enough iron to build a locomotive.
But then you also have such things as this: #92 If you get stuck in boring business meetings, you can always think about that stretch of back road with the big sweeping turns. to which I think: and do what? "blast" down at... 25 mph? ::)