The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the plains one day, when Tonto suddenly cocked his ear at a passing falcoln's cry. "Kemosabe... Apache to East!" he whispered.
The Lone Ranger looked to his faithful companion. "What do we do?"
Tonto pondered a moment. "We ride West!"
After riding a short while, Tonto again paused, searching the horizon with his eagle-sharp eyes. "Kemosabe... Apache to West!"
The Masked Man looked once again at his friend. "What should we do?"
Tonto scratched his head in thought. "We ride North!"
After a brief ride, Tonto stopped to scent the breeze. "Kemosabe... Apache to North!"
"What do we do now?" his companion asked.
Without hesitation, Tonto replied, "We ride South!"
Within minutes, Tonto reigned in his horse and dropped to the ground. Placing his ear to the earth, he listened intently. "Kemosabe... Apache to South!"
Worried, the Lone One asked him, "NOW what do we do?"
Tonto thought hard for a moment, his eyes squinting in concentration. Then his face lit up. "What do you mean "WE", White Man?"
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Tonto and the Lone Ranger were riding across the prairie. Then Tonto got down from his horse and put his ear to the ground. He looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Buffalo come."
The Lone Ranger looked at him and said, "Wow, that's amazing! How did you figure that out?"
Tonto looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "Ear sticky!"
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The bad guys have captured the Lone Ranger, have him naked on the ground, and are about to shoot him. "Do you have any last wishes??", one of them asks.
"Bring my horse, Silver, over here.", the Long Ranger replies.
They grant his wish and over comes Silver. The Lone Ranger whispers for a moment into Silver's ear. Then Silver disappears over the horizon like lightning. He returns in just a few seconds with a big, beautiful woman in the saddle. She hops off Silver, strips naked and in short order she and the Long Ranger enjoy themselves to the utmost, much to the delight of the bad guys.
When they've finished, another bad guy says, "That looked like good fun. Do you have any other last wishes??"
"Yes ..bring my horse, Silver, over here one more time.", the Long Ranger replies.
Silver approaches, and the Long Ranger whispers into his ear, "You idiot! I said bring POSSE!"
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto were at the bar drinking, when in walks a cowboy who yells, "Who's white horse it that outside?"
The Lone Ranger finishes off his whiskey, slams down the glass, turns around and says, "It's my horse. Why do you want to know?"
The cowboy looks at him and says, "Well, your horse is standing out there in the sun and he don't look too good."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto run outside and they see that Silver is in bad shape, suffering from heat exhaustion. The Loan Ranger moves his horse into the shade and gets a bucket of water. He then pours some of the water over the horse and gives the rest to Silver to drink.It is then he notices that there isn't a breeze so he asks Tonto if he would start running around Silver to get some air flowing and perhaps cool him down.
Being a faithful friend, Tonto starts running around Silver. The Lone Ranger stands there for a bit then realizes there is not much more he can do, so he goes back into the bar and orders another whiskey.
After a bit a cowboy walks in and says, "Who's white horse is that outside?"
Slowly the Lone Ranger turns around and says, "That is my horse, what is wrong with him now?"
"Nothing," replies the cowboy, "I just wanted to let you know that you left your Injun running."
