Kawasaki Concours Forum
Mish mash => Open Forum => Topic started by: VirginiaJim on January 31, 2014, 04:01:09 PM
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Such as:
Seen on the back of a very slow dump trump climbing a long hill...."I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you." (rather liked that one)
Seen at a funeral parlor locally...
When you are dead, you don't know that you are dead. It is only difficult for others. It is the same when you are stupid.
Note (lets keep this political and religion neutral please)
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hangin in there like a hair in a biscuit :pukeface:
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Honk if you want to see my finger
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bumper sticker seen on a new 'vette driven by a pretty lady
"Was His" :doh:
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Beat up car with a sticker that said "rust experiment". I have a sticker on my car that says "0.0 I don't run"
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"Hope and Change" ;) :rotflmao:
Jim, I find it both funny AND witty in a country boy kinda way :)
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Saw one that said "You can measure my concern in Micro-Give-A-Shits"...this has become one of my favorite statements
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I have a sticker on my car that says "0.0 I don't run"
Along those lines, I saw one the other day that said something like "27.4 - I got lost" :rotflmao:
(http://www.geardiary.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/50-Fat-Diabetic-Ahead-of-You-375x500.jpg)
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On a guy's t-shirt. Are your boobs looking at my eyes. lol
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On a motorhome. If this motorhome is rockin don't be knockin.
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2 come to mind: "Don't believe everything you think" and a license plate I saw years ago on a Saab that read SNAAB.
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magnetic car ribbon.
(http://www.northernsun.com/images/imagethumb/9956.jpg)
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I had one on my 91 Toyota Truck that someone slapped on when I was at the Velvet Elvis for a few beers...
Ugly Strikes One Out Of Three.
I put one on my 02 Dodge QC that I thought was pretty amusing...
If you were agoraphobic, you would be home by now.
One I saw the other day that cracked me up... huge sticker...
(http://tiwibzone.tiwib.netdna-cdn.com/images/i-love-crack-whores-bumper-sticker-300x250.jpg)
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I've found coke whores to be a better class of people.
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Marvelous....keep them coming!
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Seen on my GS "Really? BMW makes cars?"
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On my 05 ST1300...
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-8X1pLTnOUME/S85IQnvfeWI/AAAAAAAAApg/V6Q52XWHra4/w957-h636-no/Mooshine+008.JPG)
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:o
(http://funpics.classicfun.ws/var/albums/Funpics/ask_me_about_anal_fisting.jpg?m=1257591224)
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:o
:o :o
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:o
(http://funpics.classicfun.ws/var/albums/Funpics/ask_me_about_anal_fisting.jpg?m=1257591224)
Inquiring minds do NOT want to know... :pukeface:
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(http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll112/tomdvaughan/emoticons/HEADSHAKEFAST.gif) (http://s286.photobucket.com/user/tomdvaughan/media/emoticons/HEADSHAKEFAST.gif.html)
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Let's kinda keep these sayings on the witty (funny) ones, please.
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Mazda pickup, tailgate literally covered with stickers. The one that catches my eye? It's a beautiful day. Please do your best not to f#%$ it up! :)
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An old classic but I still like it: Visualize Whorled Peas
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Saw a good lookin' chick with the license plate IYQ2.
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"You look like I could use a drink".
"If Harley made airplanes would YOU ride in one"? (With pic of a DC-3 with HD engines on the wings with chain driven props)
And, on the bag of my old C10: "Silly yuppie...trailers are for BOATS".
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"You look like I could use a drink".
"If Harley made airplanes would YOU ride in one"? (With pic of a DC-3 with HD engines on the wings with chain driven props)
And, on the bag of my old C10: "Silly yuppie...trailers are for BOATS".
:rotflmao: Good ones!
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Read this on a motorcycle forum recently:
:hail: Heated gear - best invention since the woman! :hail:
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Just read on this forum in Shoe's signature:
Eat Corn, Drill for Oil
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I can't be an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings... I go to parties!
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Bumper sticker- photo of Obama with the saying "Does this ass make my car look bigger"?
Bumper sticker on right side of semi-trailer-"El Paso-El Cruncho"
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Guys, the intention of this thread was to stay out of the political stuff. Let's keep it that way, please.
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Read this on a motorcycle forum recently:
:hail: Heated gear - best invention since the woman! :hail:
;D :thumbs: :chugbeer:
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Or, as seen on the 'net, "Kinda like sex, only good" ;)
If that aint witty, I aint Jack (of all trades) ;)
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Born to ride . . . forced to work.
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Seen on BDFs snow blower. "Bring on the global warming, man made or mama nature made, just hurry up."
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"Hang up and drive"
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Bumper Sticker on the back of a Jeep ....
"If I wanted a Hummer, I would have asked your sister"
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Your as useful as a dipstick that does not reach the full mark....
That one is from "Da Chief" me.....
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Bumper Sticker on the back of a Jeep ....
"If I wanted a Hummer, I would have asked your sister"
:rotflmao:
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Your as useful as a dipstick that does not reach the full mark....
That one is from "Da Chief" me.....
I like that one! I know some that I could apply it to.
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on back of a local sewage/septic pumper truck.
"We take crap off everybody."
Local plumber truck.
"A full house beats a royal flush."
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...
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Bumper sticker on the back of a POS rusty Suburban,
This is NOT an
abandoned vehicle
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When the red river is flowing,
Take the dirt road home.......
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If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him...
Is he still wrong???
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Yes.
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If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him...
Is he still wrong???
That all depends on if he asked his wife if he could go out into the forest and speak.
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That all depends on if he asked his wife if he could go out into the forest and speak.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :thumbs:
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Another bumper sticker on a Jeep tricked out for off-road:
SUZUKI RECOVERY VEHICLE
On my neighbor's daughter's Jeep windshield
SILLY BOYS, JEEPS ARE FOR GIRLS
kind of resent that one!
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....
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Another bumper sticker on a Jeep tricked out for off-road:
SUZUKI RECOVERY VEHICLE
I've seen that one, but more often with "H2" instead of Suzuki.
And this one, too: ɹǝʌo ǝɯ dıןɟ sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı
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Saw this at a family restaurant.
Good food.
Good service.
Good prices.
Pick any two.
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....
:rotflmao:
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Guaranteed to **** someone off in every protesting group.
Nuke a Gay Whale for Jesus
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Thought I'd try to resurrect this thread...Always drink upstream from the herd.
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Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you!
(https://dgmtxa.bn1302.livefilestore.com/y2p2-YFPoeH6WsbJkrbenuEH8M5M1FhxazQjkwCa1Msoqx4rUu6rN-suboWft1wFYf5ho2Z1sFxctH5GfXe4xgP8fOdZmivDdqLzyXCEUt5GBDTr3ltiolcuj1tvDxbWHZDPZea1ihOVIZB4l4JBT5d1g/Forecast%20sign.jpg?psid=1)
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.
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Saw a license plate that said "hydrogen". My daughter didn't get it, I pointed out the car was an Element!
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This saying is an actual business:
(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/5WrJX5zg8bmHiN8m72mXN7EA-Qaihm2UqJ3Xj7GGBhI=w320-h207-p-no)
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If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him...
Is he still wrong???
Corollary: If a tree falls in the forest, and kills a mime, does anyone care?
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Recently seen bumper sticker:
"I'm so f***ing happy I could s**t rainbows."
From me:
"If I was smart enough to work here, I'd be smart enough to NOT work here."
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War brings mortars and pestilence.
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Local plumber truck.
"A full house beats a royal flush."
Huh? ...Either you misquoted that, or it's a bad plumber.
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For 500 bucks you too can be royally flushed by that plumber.
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For 500 bucks you too can be royally flushed by that plumber.
551 for the same service if its a union plumber, although expect a longer project timeline.
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If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around to hear him...
Is he still wrong???
Corollary: If a tree falls in the forest, and kills a mime, does anyone care?
Why just the one? ???
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(http://www.zggtr.org/MGalleryItem.php?id=666)
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Here's a few:
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And a few more:
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Some excellent stuff here, keep them coming! :D
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Never lick a gifted horse on the mouth
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"Ever try huskin' corn for a livin?"
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When I was younger, and shot tournement archery, all the shirts I wore had a 3" x5" square on the back of my left shoulder with the words
"DOES THE NOISE IN MY HEAD BOTHER YOU?" In flourescent green letters...
Amazing how little things like that can make a normally superior archer flub... when they read that 60 times during a match...
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I think my all- time favorite was 'I know the voices in my head are not real but man, do they have some great ideas!'. Saw it on the 'Net somewhere, just like all the other good stuff in life....
A lot of people seem to really like my saying "It's like sex..... only good." Well not my wife but most people.
Brian
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A favorite toast:
"Here's to our wives and our girlfriends. May they never meet."
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Everyone is entitled to be stupid, some people abuse the privilege.
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Funny product slogans:
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Sorry, didn't get a pic but seen on my way home last night, an old classic sign about 2' by 3' on the back of a van:
"If is aint a Harley, it aint $hit"
Got me thinking. Is he implying that "If it is a Harley, it is $hit?"
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Sorry, didn't get a pic but seen on my way home last night, an old classic sign about 2' by 3' on the back of a van:
"If is it ain't a Harley, it ain't $hit"
Got me thinking. Is he implying that "If it is a Harley, it is $hit?"
FIFY
Got me thinking. Is he implying that "If it is a Harley, it is $hit?"
Yes, I believe that is what he is implying, however there could be additional conditions,
such as: If it is a Harley, but it still has the oem mufflers, and it's rider wears a helmet, then it ain't $h!+.
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"Ever try huskin' corn for a livin?"
Now this is witty interesting. FTFM
http://youtu.be/dpVdkHZsOW8 (http://youtu.be/dpVdkHZsOW8)
OOPS, I took this in a different direction...OK. sorry, now back to witticisms.
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"Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two
cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal."
- Steven Wright
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"This one time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken".
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" REMEMBER THE UNDERWEAR BOMBER?"
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“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
― Will Rogers
CLASSIC.
Marty... awesome vid... just awsome... 8)
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.....Cheap whores make expensive wives.....
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That's about as useless as **** on a typewriter.
You don't put a five dollar hat on a two dollar whore.
She's got a three-horsepower brain driving a five-horsepower mouth.
I never was the man I used to be.
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That fits like socks on a rooster
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Always keep your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark
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Always wear clean underwear, you never know when you'll end up in the emergency room.
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Always wear clean underwear, you never know when you'll end up in the emergency room.
Trust me, if I get damaged to the point of ER folks needing to cut off my underwear, they probably won't be clean anyway. :-[
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Always wear clean underwear, you never know when you'll end up in the emergency room.
Yes, mother.
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don't know if this has been said....but it is on many forums...
"Pics or it didn't happen" LOL
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Yes, mother.
:-*
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"Don't...make me stop this car!" ;D
which would usually get my brother & me to stop the horseplay for a half-hour or so...... ::)
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"wilder than a peach orchard hog"
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Yep
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(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/DPNwwVXboq4VqZkoDSj386o4HbKPmjWwwZV3ksfKt7I=w291-h212-p-no)
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(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/oaRhyNIflKNRFBsjDGw54Pzpt38cNUBWNG7JoU8Q9HA=w489-h207-p-no)
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(https://fvacaq.bn1302.livefilestore.com/y2pYppXQUcgLWcq7-zRsCVLByrdrISsyASYDyxZN9lZ4aB7pP0vcmeoPDb8ncUCLnzOvTxB7kpXYeK7BBvomiyf79LNNMy5otyOVSpwZ-wKfbmR6A3GKjnBwXyXUyjazBRdHEKP9mLwI9FvJJtnwWh8QQ/Ironic+moments1.bmp)
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No-cost home security system.
I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I’m saving $49.95 a month.
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;)
(http://halffull.org/images/canada.jpg)
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Reply to the post above:
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And a few more:
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The rock paper scissors above cracked me up. :rotflmao:
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"The older I get, the faster I was"
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still more;
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(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/10940992_560520234084369_6769464314810066538_n.jpg?oh=8ed9f400eb4fb6b80836cb8e8723852c&oe=5536C224&__gda__=1428873976_39a872bd88af92e473f496a93332b164)
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^^^^ True dat!!!
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You have not had enough passengers yet..... :(
Brian
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/10940992_560520234084369_6769464314810066538_n.jpg?oh=8ed9f400eb4fb6b80836cb8e8723852c&oe=5536C224&__gda__=1428873976_39a872bd88af92e473f496a93332b164)
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^^^^when i have an undesirable yappy passenger, I'll run SOLO! ;D
(http://i80.photobucket.com/albums/j180/stevewfl/avatars/blah.jpg)
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Just about the time I shift in to 5th gear, I can't remember a thing she said.... 8)
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Just about the time I shift in to 5th gear, I can't remember a thing she said.... 8)
You've got a long memory.
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You have not had enough passengers yet..... :(
Brian
+1
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they look like they've "been beat outta h**l with a soot bag" :yikes:
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Hmmmm
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Saw this one at my friends office...
When you are dead, you don't know that you are dead. It is difficult only for others.
It is the same when you are stupid.
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If common sense is as common as the name implies, why does there always seem to be such a lack of it?
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That does seem to be an oxymoron..now that I think about it.
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That does seem to be an oxymoron..now that I think about it.
That might be a good idea for a new thread Jim...Oxymorons
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I'm game. Go ahead and start one.
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saw this on a jeep
"Silly Boy, Jeeps are for girls"
gotta love a women in a jeep.....
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saw this on a jeep
"Silly Boy, Jeeps are for girls"
gotta love a women in a jeep.....
I've always liked this one on a Jeep: ɹəʌo əɯ dılɟ 'sıɥʇ pɐəɹ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı
Or: "H2 Recovery Team"
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I've always liked this one on a Jeep: ɹəʌo əɯ dılɟ 'sıɥʇ pɐəɹ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı
Or: "H2 Recovery Team"
Did you have to hold the keyboard upside down to type that?
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(http://www.zggtr.org/MGalleryItem.php?id=227)
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Did you have to hold the keyboard upside down to type that?
Yep. (OK, I cheated: http://www.sunnyneo.com/upsidedowntext.php (http://www.sunnyneo.com/upsidedowntext.php) )
(http://www.zggtr.org/MGalleryItem.php?id=227)
I need a bunch of those at work.