She probably did not hear anything after hearing the words 'my exhaust' and 'watching a dollar bill ruffle in 'my exhaust's ' output.
Anybody else remember that thread about feeling the exhaust pulses of a C-14 around here from about one million years ago? It was a long thread but more than worth the read as I remember.
That is a good idea though- actually, both of them, the hand over the muffler to feel for pulses and watching a piece of paper for the same pulses.
And the idea that the VVT is fully the wrong way and / or a cam has jumped a tooth (per the other poster) could explain how the engine will not pump air (or not nearly enough) and yet is NOT 'munched' internally. It is possible that the valves are overlapping enough to prevent the engine acting as an air pump and yet the valves did not hit the pistons. So there is the 'cheap 'n easy' out for this one.
My suggestion would be to remove enough of the right side fairings to get at the engine side. You will have to do this for any other test that I can think of anyway. At that point, pull the right side covers and have a look at the cam timing on both the crankshaft as well as the camshaft. Also, check the VVT to make sure it is all the way back to the 'home' or 'rest' position- not sure how to do that but we can work through it when you get that far. Basically you will have to compare the intake cam position to the intake sprocket position to verify where in the VVT's travel the cam is at this point in time. If the cam chain HAS skipped a tooth, the easiest / cheapest thing to do is to rotate the engine to -zero- timing, remove the cam chain and <gently> try to put the cams back in- time. Then re-install the cam chain and the cam chain tensioner, and then see if the engine will turn over by hand in the correct direction only. If it does and all seems well, hit the starter and see if 1) it works correctly, chugging as an air pump and with a little luck 2) starts or tries to start. At that point you can probably button up the engine covers and actually start it.
All of this is far, far easier than pulling the engine and has a possibility of success. ??
As always, the very best of luck moving forward on this and do keep us abreast 'cause that is where we like to be.
Brian
Had someone at the "other" forum suggest hold hand over muffler outlet while a helper hits the starter. Mentioned that to the wife in the kitchen. She just went on stirring the etoufee, din't even look up. But I can tape the bill to the outlet and do it solo.