Bill walks into a bar and sits down, " Hey bill" the bar tender says.
"Hey Sam, I'll have a beer." so Sam brings him the beer and makes small talk.
"So What's new Bill?"
"Well, I just got a new pet monkey the other day. I didn't think you'd want him in here, so I left him in the car."
"Really!" Sam says. "That's OK, bring him on in!" So Bill goes out to his car and gets his new pet monkey and brings him into the bar and sits him on the bar stool next to him. He shakes Sam's hand and looks around at the other patrons and then jumps off the bar stool and goes to check the rest of the place out. Sam and Bill chit chat while keeping an eye on the monkey. The monkey proceeds to hop up onto to pool table and start playing with the cue ball. Sam "Awe, how cute." And before you could bat an eyelash the monkey swallowed the cue ball whole! Bill and Sam's eyes almost jumped out of their heads, Bill runs over and grabs the monkey and apologizes to Sam and tells him he'll buy him a new cue ball.
The next day, Bill returns to the bar with the new cue ball and Sam invites him to sit for a beer to show there was no hard feelings. Sam asks, "So where's your monkey?" Bill replies, "Are you kidding me, after yesterday I left him in the car!"
"Oh that's OK." Sam says, "Go get him and bring him in, we'll just keep a closer eye on him." So Bill goes and gets the monkey and comes back in. The monkey hops up on the bar stool and onto the bar and sits down. Sam shakes his hand and slides a bowl of peanuts over to him. The monkey grabs a peanut and jams it up his azz and then puts it in his mouth. Sam horrified looks at Bill, "Bill, did you see that?" Bill replies, " Yeah, ever since that cue ball incident, he's test fitting EVERYTHING!"
