Kawasaki Concours Forum
Mish mash => Open Forum => Topic started by: Jeremy Mitchell on January 06, 2012, 01:40:57 PM
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Today my ankle was bothering me so I went to the medicine cabinet (in my wife and I's master bathroom) to grab a Mobic (anti-inflammatory) and also checked to see how full my bottle of Vicodin was. And to my surprise the whole bottle of Vicodin was gone. I called my wife since she was at the grocery store and when she got home she did a quick inventory of her various meds. After going through all of the bottles my wife found that she was missing a BIG bottle of Tramadol and Percoset. Now I am fuming, my wife and I keep our meds in a spot where none of our children or the kids that my wife babysits can get to them (since they can't get into our bedroom). My wife has a friend that comes over to watch the kids if my wife has a Dr's appointment and it just so happens that she just "quit" her job at a local veterinarian's office. She is the only person that my wife or I can think of that has had access to where the meds are kept without us being around. I am going to go by and talk to the Vet and see if there were any other issues and if she quit or was actually fired like I suspect. How should I handle this? I am thinking about setting up a camera to catch her red handed, if that happens then I will get the police involved. But I really don't trust her enough to even give her the chance to steal from us again. I am thinking about just telling her she isn't welcome in our home anymore, but I know it will be hard since they live next door. Thoughts?
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Wow, that's a tough one Jeremy.
How is it that the kids can't get into your bedroom but the friend can?
Unless you know the vet, I'd be surprised if he gave you any info on the details of the woman history of employment with him. That could open him up for a lawsuit.
If you accuse her and it's not her that wouldn't be good at all, especially with her living next to you. Plus you wouldn't catch the thief anyway.
I'd bait a trap for her and use a hidden camera.
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+1, that's what I would do.
Wow, that's a tough one Jeremy.
How is it that the kids can't get into your bedroom but the friend can?
Unless you know the vet, I'd be surprised if he gave you any info on the details of the woman history of employment with him. That could open him up for a lawsuit.
If you accuse her and it's not her that wouldn't be good at all, especially with her living next to you. Plus you wouldn't catch the thief anyway.
I'd bait a trap for her and use a hidden camera.
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Your best option is to say nothing to her directly as you have absolutely no proof of anything and this is your wife's friend. Now with that said you could find a way of saying that someone has been stealing meds from your home to her. Learn a lesson from this and keep these type of meds under lock and key.
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My solution. She lives next door...you can not star a war with a drug addict. You call the friend over for coffee and express your horror that the drugs are missing and you suspect it might be another friend or relative with older kids. Tell her you have already set up a camera but haven't had time to review the tapes and would she watch the kids downstairs while you are upstairs reviewing it. When you come down be really frustrated and annoy and then annouce the camera was pointed to high up. Let her know that there will be a camera on the cabinet. Go to walmart and get a lock box and put your drugs in it and place it in your closet. Change you locks if she has a key. When hers does not work she will get the point. Just a thought but it might save a peacful neighborhood and give you a chance to distance yourself from an unpredictable addict.
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Camera Cops Jail
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Bait her with M&M's in the bottles I think she will stop help your wife watch the kids and no words will have to be spoken
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I would start with a camera and sugar pills. she is a friend / neighbor the vet will most likely not tell u anything for fear of Lawyers
at this point you are not 100% sure what has taken place. except that pills are missing. you are not 100% sure who took them.
I would do like has been mentioned
camera
cops
jail
I would not accuse her till I was sure
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Camera Cops Jail
+1
Get proof first then you have the law on your side...otherwise you don't trust a person you can't be 100% sure is guilty and you will never have the same relationship.. just think about if it was someone else and you were falsely accused. If it is indeed her then you know for sure and so do the police.
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... a few sugar pills, and a note perhaps... "I'm on to your thieving ways, scumbag!" see how she reacts when you come back from your errand... :rotflmao:
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My Vicodin is getting low but it's still there...
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Whoever took the pills is a thief. I can't abide a thief.
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I know the ramifications if I were to mistakenly accuse her, I was just pissed off earlier. I am attacking this problem with a level head.
I went and talked to the Vet who confirmed my suspicions that she got fired instead of "quitting". It was a very good conversation that helped me realize a couple things. I will let it be for now, but will take better precautions with securing our medication. A camera is going up along with a note in the medicine cabinet. So much for trusting a "friend".
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Get proof first before proceeding or saying anything. Be cautious of other valuables & $$ left out.
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A thief will lie.
A liar will usually steal.
Secure EVERYTHING for if an addict can't steal what they want, they will steal something ELSE to buy it.
She needs to be gone from your life. If you want help her, do it elsewhere. If the kids ask where she went, tell them what they can understand at this point if they are not old enough for all of it.
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My wife had a cousin like that. Everyone used to be on edge when she came to visit as things (medicines and the like) would turn up missing.
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... a few sugar pills,
You guys are too kind.
Refill the bottle with a POWERFUL laxative. :hitfan:
And the camera, etc. is a great idea, too.
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Jeremy - 6 years working in a prison taught me a few things. 1) don't confront her til you have proof; 2)if she'll steal your drugs, she'll steal your money and stuff - and WORSE she'll tell those who she knows what stuff you have, and it'll be stolen by them, when she has an alibi.
Personally, I'd set up a motion camera and catch her. In fact I'd let her steal actual pills. Once you have the proof you MUST go to the cops. Otherwise if you try to handle it "in-house" you're still at risk of "an inside job". Once the police are involved, that'll put enough of a scare to hopefully cross you off the "steal here" list. Also, without some serious intervention, she's gonna keep up the same behavior, and spiral downward. think about it, you didn't do anything wrong, she did. HTH, steve
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Refill the bottle with a POWERFUL laxative. :hitfan:
:rotflmao:
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I would not trust her with the kids, obviously not a stable person. Be careful J.
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I wouldn't leave a note. I mean why tip her off?
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Why has nobody mentioned that she needs help? I know, a drug addict and all, but obviously she needs help. No answer here, but why not talk to a professional and see if you can help her instead of throwing her in jail? Druggies do not belong in jail. They need help. If they are too far gone, then lock them up.
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If the camera is set up in a bathroom you could be setting yourself up for some legal trouble
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I would not trust her with the kids, obviously not a stable person. Be careful J.
Plus 10+
What is your wife suggesting? Since it is a controlled substance I would seriously consider getting the MPs involved. In no way would I recomend you or the misses confront her.
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Jeremy - 6 years working in a prison taught me a few things. 1) don't confront her til you have proof; 2)if she'll steal your drugs, she'll steal your money and stuff - and WORSE she'll tell those who she knows what stuff you have, and it'll be stolen by them, when she has an alibi.
Personally, I'd set up a motion camera and catch her. In fact I'd let her steal actual pills. Once you have the proof you MUST go to the cops. Otherwise if you try to handle it "in-house" you're still at risk of "an inside job". Once the police are involved, that'll put enough of a scare to hopefully cross you off the "steal here" list. Also, without some serious intervention, she's gonna keep up the same behavior, and spiral downward. think about it, you didn't do anything wrong, she did. HTH, steve
Steve is right on.....I have worked as a LEO for 18 years. Use a camera or even a game camera to take a pic of your neighbor in the act. Count the number of pills writing down the date and time of the inventory. When you return home, inventory again with the time performed. Use the real deal, no sugar or laxatives. Take whatever media you used along with your inventory times to your local PD and file your complaint. Once the officer has the facts, an interview would be in order. The reason you want to use the real deal is because sometimes the crook will give us the items. If she does this it’s just made the water tight case tighter.
You will have to be willing to go to court if she doesn’t plead. I have found if there is no wiggle room in your case the crook will often times will plead guilty. Writing good reports have cost me some good over time over the years. So now your neighbor will be motivated to except she has a problem and the court could even order treatment. Don’t expect her to get a lot of jail time unless she has a history.
Camera's have gotten cheaper over the years. I've seen some mini cams the guys would wear clipped on their shirt pocket.
Like some of the others have suggested, don't confront her. Tim
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I understand the catching her in the act part, I have been an MP for almost 12 years. And no, she is not gonna be unsupervised in my house any more. Her husband and I had a chat this evening and he has seen some changes in her over the past month or so just like my wife and I have. My wife and I had spoken about her a couple weeks ago and made the decision not to let her watch the kids any more due to the fact that we thought she was having some issues with depression and showing signs of being bulimic. Her husband is trying to convince her that mental health counseling isn't a bad thing and she hasn't been very receptive. Who knows what will happen, hopefully she will accept the help that she needs.
No accusations, no name calling, no arguments, I am happy with how it went tonight and we are still on speaking terms. Lesson learned for my wife and I.......no more meds that aren't under lock and key.
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Well done! Dealing with friends/neighbors/family and addictions are never easy.
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. She is the only person that my wife or I can think of that has had access to where the meds are kept without us being around.
It doesn't have to happen while you are gone. Any friends are relatives you had in your house during the holidays are suspect. Rummaging through medicine cabinets is not as uncommon as you think. Somebody might have been looking for a tampon, soap, mouthwash, aspirin or whatever and saw the Vicodin and bingo!!!!!
Not saying its OK, but it does happen.
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Pretty hard for someone to rummage when we haven't had any visitors for a couple of months. We went to visit family for the holidays, and when we have friends over for dinner and drinks our bedroom door is shut and everyone uses one of our two other bathrooms. I'm not saying that I am NCIS material or anything but I do have knowledge in investigations.
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The stats on our pill/prescription drugs problem in America is alarming, and sad.
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.... I'm not saying that I am NCIS material or anything but I do have knowledge in investigations.
With said knowledge you still have absolutely NO proof that she took the meds from your home; only thing you have told us for sure is that she does not want to tell the truth that she was fired from her last job not that she quit which is no crime
My opinion for what it's worth is still the same keep these type of meds under lock and key and don't give her the opportunity to rummage freely through your home again. Depending on what you and her husband spoke of it is likely that she will soon know that you are suspect of her.
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Knowing vs Proof vs Evidence. There is more than sufficient evidence to know that she is a risk to both children and property. Proof in court is a different matter, but it is possible to know stuff that may not be provable in court.
IMHO, if the OP would be unwise to consider the risk so minimal as to invite reoccurance of the theft or to place his children in the care of a known druggie.
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Bummer, Dude. I went pee next to your house. :o
It was dark out. 8)
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You are handling the situation very well IMHO, that is a bummer and I am betting she is the culprit. I agree that addicts have no place in prison, unfortunatley most states are doing nothing about it.
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I had this happen once a while back with a family member, but could not prove it. I made a special bottle for the person to steal. The generic vicodan was exchanged for stool softeners. Any good addict takes more than oen at a time anyway.
The next day it was fairly easy to figure out who it was. Oddly enough, nothing ever went missing again.
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I had this happen once a while back with a family member, but could not prove it. I made a special bottle for the person to steal. The generic vicodan was exchanged for stool softeners. Any good addict takes more than oen at a time anyway.
The next day it was fairly easy to figure out who it was. Oddly enough, nothing ever went missing again. Probably not the right way to handle it, but I really did not feel like making her problem "my problem".
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@ T Cro: you are correct, I don't have any proof. That is why my wife and I have handled it the way we did. We have eliminated the possibility of this happening again by using lock box for meds, and this woman will have VERY limited access to our home until we see a change.
Thanks everyone for the input. I am embarrassed to admit that was naive enough to believe that I couldn't be stolen from by someone that my wife and I welcomed into our home. Just sucks to think the worst about people that I should be able trust.
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It may be a bit naive but for me all it proves is that you want others to have the same respect and responsible point of view you have. Unfortunately, many others will prey on the people that are the "good" people because of their trust. Take it as a leaning experience and choose your friends more closely next time.
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No need to be embarassed. Occasionally uncover employee theft in my work (I'm a business consultant) when I'm looking for unexpected cash drains and it's almost always a TRUSTED employee or family member. They're the ones with the most unrestricted access. The business owner ALWAYS is shocked. Always.
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Well i'll chime in....I fell about 14 feet onto a concrete floor /feet first and a bit of compression. That said, there was a very popular non-prescription drug in the 80's (with a horrible reputation) when I was kinda young and quite successful and it was a hell of a lot easier to walk away from that than the prescribed medications (opioids) for my back. One needs a plan for this sh%^ and that doesn't condone theft....although most addicts go there,My stepdaughter stole all my wifes percs after her surgery recently. Really?? How the F can one justify that??
Crappy Times in Mid-Class
Mike
BTW-we all know who stole our stuff if its not a complete stranger.
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How the F can one justify that??
When someone is truly addicted, there is no justification. And if they do create a justification, it wouldn't make sense to someone who isn't addicted.
I was on Percocet, Vicodin, and Valium (simultaneously!) after my motorcycle accident. Fortunately, I saw my own signs of psychological addiction to them before others noticed, and even more fortunately, I was able to put them down and just use ibuprofen to manage the pain. (Doesn't manage it as well, but I'll take pain over the place I was headed any day.) I still avoid them.
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Heck I saw myself nearly addicted to NyQuil a while back; got real sick while working on an ocean going tug and likely needed to be in the hospital but that was not an option short of being air lifted off. So every night I took NyQuil and every morning cold meds. After I finally kicked the bug I found that I could no longer sleep without the NyQuil. Believe me I've been around the block with recreational drug use and nothing ever quite roped me in like the NyQuil did.
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Do you remember the Romilar for Lunch Bunch. Maybe terpin hydrate. Used to be fun to have a cold.
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addicted to NyQuil
Wasn't that a song - long ago?
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You and your wife have handed it well so far . Leave it alone for the moment , let her husband and family try to help her admitte to her problem . Sometimes bad things happen to people that cause these problems . I have seen it so many times it is not funny . hear are some examples
Pregnant women can be fine but after child birth they may get hormonaly affected ,it can also happen when they stop breast feeding .I am NOT talking about about post natal depression ,but a true Hormone change .
They suddenly ,or over time, start to remember something they have bured away in their memory such as being molested as a child ( very common) . This can happen out blue when say a relative who had molested them and they have not seen for decades moves back into town etc.This starts to dominate and override their personalty and starts to eat away at them,it is a bit like a dull pain that never goes away .
Medical conditions like early one set of some cancers or brain tumours
Finacial problems such as a gabling habbit that is just starting to be discovered.
You and your wife are a victim of her symptons ,you can not solve her problems ,nor do you even know what they are . Just be a friend to her and her husband , do not allow her to be tempted LOCK the medician and valuables away . If her husband admitted he has noticed it over the last month he has probably had a funny felling for a while . Help him when he needs it ,encorage him and his his wife to enjoy themselves like small trips away . Sometimes people can get better if things change around them and they are happier ,but sometimes medical help is needed.
If you go to church talk to your minister without naming her and ask him for advice .
Just remember what would you like to happen if it was your wife .
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Wasn't that a song - long ago?
ALVIN CROW - "Nyquil Blues" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ufH_pE2a-s#)
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Jeremy, my belief, FWIW, is that you've handled this well. Congratulations!
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Jeremy,
I want to add something I don't think was covered. (I didn't see it if it was)
If she stole your meds out of the medcabt, then she would steal a key to your house.
Change your locks.....
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Jeremy,
I want to add something I don't think was covered. (I didn't see it if it was)
If she stole your meds out of the medcabt, then she would steal a key to your house.
Change your locks.....
Good point. Thank goodness my house is equipped with KiPass. ;D
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Jeremy, my belief, FWIW, is that you've handled this well. Congratulations!
For all you know, She's burried in His back yard. ::)
:stirpot:
;D
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Good point. Thank goodness my house is equipped with KiPass. ;D
Got all your fobs?
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Got all your fobs?
1.....2......and thr.........what the hell! My KiPass card is missing, oh wait I haven't bought one yet so I am good. My wife did convince her to go for a ride with me a couple months ago (I thought it was a trap). And she had a blast, she got off and said she was laughing so hard she almost peed her pants, so I know she loves the power of KiPass and if she found out about the convenience of not having to dig for a key...................then all bets are off.
Back on topic; She does seem more like her old self the last couple of days. She actually looks like she is eating and she has been spending alot of time in the yard with her son from what my wife tells me. Maybe she just had a rough patch...................
I still don't trust her anymore than I can throw her skinny ass.....................well maybe any farther than my wife could throw her. ;D
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1.....2......and thr.........what the hell! My KiPass card is missing, oh wait I haven't bought one yet so I am good. My wife did convince her to go for a ride with me a couple months ago (I thought it was a trap). And she had a blast, she got off and said she was laughing so hard she almost peed her pants, so I know she loves the power of KiPass and if she found out about the convenience of not having to dig for a key...................then all bets are off.
Back on topic; She does seem more like her old self the last couple of days. She actually looks like she is eating and she has been spending alot of time in the yard with her son from what my wife tells me. Maybe she just had a rough patch...................
I still don't trust her anymore than I can throw her skinny ass.....................well maybe any farther than my wife could throw her. ;D
A trap? What do you mean?
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A trap? What do you mean?
That my wife wanted another woman to ride on the back of my bike. I thought it was a test to see if I would take her and get chewed out later. You know how women are weird like that? My wife is very trusting (of me) and has never been "clingy" so I guess I should have never worried in the first place.
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That my wife wanted another woman to ride on the back of my bike. I thought it was a test to see if I would take her and get chewed out later. You know how women are weird like that? My wife is very trusting (of me) and has never been "clingy" so I guess I should have never worried in the first place.
That and a few other ways too.