-
-
A Penguin rides into a shop on his 2008 Concours.
The mechanic (who just happens to be a Great White Shark) greets him and asks “What can I do for you buddy?” The Penguin replies “I need an oil and filter change. Can you do it while I take a walk around town?”
The Shark answers with a smile “Sure thing Pal. It will be ready in an hour.”
So, the Penguin leaves and takes off to see the sights. He hasn’t been to this town before. He only has an hour so he decides, for his first stop, to find the local soda jerk and get himself a treat.
As he enters the little store he is pleasantly surprised to find that he has stepped back in time. The flooring is made up of black and white tiles about 2 feet square. Large incandescent lamps hang from the ceiling. There are cushioned booths with that annoying Naugahyde that makes a weird noise when you scoot across the bench. Their color is reminiscent of a coral blue with a few cracks here and there. Well-worn and comfortable. Each booth has a miniature juke box with music selections from the 1950’s. He dials in the first Chuck Berry song he sees and presses Play. He is instantly transported into a room filled with dancing. The girls with their poodle skirts and ice cream kicker shoes. The boys with blue jeans cuffed at the bottom and t-shirt sleeves rolled over what appears to be a pack of smokes. They are so cool! (or so they think)
The owner/operator (who just happens to be a gigantic Fur Seal) approaches the booth and asks the Penguin what he would like. The Penguin replies that the biggest root beer float is just what he needs.
With the order completed the Seal goes behind the counter and starts building the biggest root beer float that he can. He grabs a flower vase and fills it half way with the best root beer in the whole wide world – Barq’s of course (Barq’s has Bite! It’s good. Since 1898.) He then adds 10 scoops of the very best French Vanilla ice cream in the whole wide world – Friendly’s of course. He slips in a paper straw and a long-handled sundae spoon and it’s ready!
The Seal places his creation on the table before the Penguin without a word. The Penguin is in shock. He can smell the sweet bitterness of the root beer. The French vanilla ice cream is bursting with crushed vanilla beans. His beak is dripping Penguin Saliva as he begins to devour the float with gusto. Paper straw tossed to the left, Sundae Spoon tossed to the right, Root beer foam and vanilla ice cream are splattered in every direction as he dives in with both flippers. In moments, he is finished. Practically in the blink of an eye. He sits back and blasts out the loudest penguin burp ever emitted. He is completely sated. He thanks the Seal for a most excellent treat and departs after paying his bill. He heads back to the shop to get his beloved Connie.
The Penguin enters the Maintenance Bay just as the Shark is finishing the oil change. The Shark takes a one look at the Penguin and jumps back in startled amazement. The Penguin stands before the Shark covered from head to toe (flipper?) in a gooey white substance.
When the Shark regains his composure he utters “Holy cow, dude, it looks like you just blew a seal !”
The Penguin runs his Penguin tongue across his Penguin beak and stands there in silent contemplation for a moment and says “Nope, that’s ice cream.”
-
-
looking at your signature, I bet you have run into some navy special forces in your career and this is a variation on a joke regarding them 
-
-
What's long and hard and full of Seamen? A submarine
-
-
What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky?
.
.
.
.
.
-
-
OK, just got done putting the large banner across my computer screen. It says "Easy Boys!" in red.
Now I cannot get any work done but hey, safety knows no limits....
Brian
-
-
A Penguin rides into a shop on his 2008 Concours.
The mechanic (who just happens to be a Great White Shark) greets him and asks “What can I do for you buddy?” The Penguin replies “I need an oil and filter change. Can you do it while I take a walk around town?”
The Shark answers with a smile “Sure thing Pal. It will be ready in an hour.”
So, the Penguin leaves and takes off to see the sights. He hasn’t been to this town before. He only has an hour so he decides, for his first stop, to find the local soda jerk and get himself a treat.
As he enters the little store he is pleasantly surprised to find that he has stepped back in time. The flooring is made up of black and white tiles about 2 feet square. Large incandescent lamps hang from the ceiling. There are cushioned booths with that annoying Naugahyde that makes a weird noise when you scoot across the bench. Their color is reminiscent of a coral blue with a few cracks here and there. Well-worn and comfortable. Each booth has a miniature juke box with music selections from the 1950’s. He dials in the first Chuck Berry song he sees and presses Play. He is instantly transported into a room filled with dancing. The girls with their poodle skirts and ice cream kicker shoes. The boys with blue jeans cuffed at the bottom and t-shirt sleeves rolled over what appears to be a pack of smokes. They are so cool! (or so they think)
The owner/operator (who just happens to be a gigantic Fur Seal) approaches the booth and asks the Penguin what he would like. The Penguin replies that the biggest root beer float is just what he needs.
With the order completed the Seal goes behind the counter and starts building the biggest root beer float that he can. He grabs a flower vase and fills it half way with the best root beer in the whole wide world – Barq’s of course (Barq’s has Bite! It’s good. Since 1898.) He then adds 10 scoops of the very best French Vanilla ice cream in the whole wide world – Friendly’s of course. He slips in a paper straw and a long-handled sundae spoon and it’s ready!
The Seal places his creation on the table before the Penguin without a word. The Penguin is in shock. He can smell the sweet bitterness of the root beer. The French vanilla ice cream is bursting with crushed vanilla beans. His beak is dripping Penguin Saliva as he begins to devour the float with gusto. Paper straw tossed to the left, Sundae Spoon tossed to the right, Root beer foam and vanilla ice cream are splattered in every direction as he dives in with both flippers. In moments, he is finished. Practically in the blink of an eye. He sits back and blasts out the loudest penguin burp ever emitted. He is completely sated. He thanks the Seal for a most excellent treat and departs after paying his bill. He heads back to the shop to get his beloved Connie.
The Penguin enters the Maintenance Bay just as the Shark is finishing the oil change. The Shark takes a one look at the Penguin and jumps back in startled amazement. The Penguin stands before the Shark covered from head to toe (flipper?) in a gooey white substance.
When the Shark regains his composure he utters “Holy cow, dude, it looks like you just blew a seal !”
The Penguin runs his Penguin tongue across his Penguin beak and stands there in silent contemplation for a moment and says “Nope, that’s ice cream.”
That's it ... ONE WEEK BAN.
Wait, I'm not a mod. Nevermind.
-
-
That's it ... ONE WEEK BAN.
Wait, I'm not a mod. Nevermind.
That would be a weak ban then eh?
-
-
This band looks pretty tough, and it could help a lot of us buy those 32 / 34 sized pants recently listed for sale:
This thread is interesting because it used to take the word KiPass to bring a thread down this far, this fast.
BrianThat would be a weak ban then eh?
-
-
There is something about a really terrible joke. I mean one that just makes you cringe when you read it... You just can't help but laugh. I heard a variation of this joke many years ago and I will never forget it, because it is so terribly bad. I hope you remember this one for years to come and silently curse my name because you can't get it out of your head.
-
-
Kinda of like when you get a song stuck in your head....
http://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ
I managed to get to 1 minute and 29 seconds before I
-
-
Ah, that is a pretty odd song to get stuck in your head....
How about this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbYj7ZyqjYY
BrianKinda of like when you get a song stuck in your head....
http://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ
-
-
Kinda of like when you get a song stuck in your head....
http://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ
That vid should definitely be banned! Now I have to wash both my eyes and my ears out with bleach.
-
-
I remember that one. Kinda drawn out to tell, but worth it.
